Minnie Paws, the evil little tramp

Signs I may be entering menopause with a fury:

1. Insomnia

2.  Waking up with no pajamas on and eliminating an alien abduction after probing myself  for needle marks and seeing no "crop" circles in the yard.

3. Looking for my car keys and they are in my hand.

4. Not remembering the name of the "thing" that makes that warm "thing" I like to drink for  breakfast.

5.  Heart racing when in a horizontal position on the couch pondering a work out.

6. Suddenly realizing all knives, screwdrivers, ice picks, axes, and hatchets have been placed under lock and key.  And I don't have a key. 

7.  Visiting the restroom two to three times a night.

8. Sneezing and wishing I had visited the restroom two to three times that night.  Time for a pajama change.

9. Having MORE hair on my FACE then on my HEAD.

10. WHAT WHERE WE TALKING ABOUT AGAIN?